Before we get started let me just say i in no way refer to anyone specifically in this article and the things described have several sources.
I know people always say that they hate living in a small town because no one knows how to mind their own business and other things to that nature; no one ever really goes into detail about it.
I live in a small southern town located in Mississippi, which is also right in the middle of the Bible belt. The town where i live has an area of probably about 9 square miles ( that is in town not the county).
LET me tell you something about my small town.
We like to call this little town of ours "Mayberry" because we only have 3 police officers, no jail, a park, a library, a grocery store, 3 churches, a building store, 3 gas stations, a motel, a flower shop, post office, a general store, and a restaurant... OH WAIT... i forgot we recently aquired a gym. I am sure i left out two or three small businesses somewhere along the line and before any of you read this blog, i apologize for any inconvenience.
This is a place where everyone knows everyone, and if they don't know everyone personally they have heard stories (rumors) about everyone.
There are two "groups" of people in my town. there are the "upper class" citizens and the "lower class" citizens. This is what i will refer to them as even if no one's income in this entire town could EVER be referred to as UPPER class; at best, SOME people MIGHT reach upper middle class... but very few.
Since we live in the Bible belt, let me start there.... HA HA HA HA HA.... WHAT A JOKE.
I am a Christian, I believe in God. I believe Jesus is God's son, was born of the virgin Mary, died on the cross for our sins, and rose again 3 days later. I believe that we will all answer to him when we pass from this life.
THAT BEING SAID..... Do you have any idea how many Bible thumping "holier than thou" people live in a tiny town in the Bible belt?? lets just say that is exactly what the "UPPER" class is identified by.
Here in this town, it isn't money that separates your class from someone else. It is how far you can stick your nose up and how much of your dirty laundry you can cover up.
Here are just a few things that i know about my town.
We have call girls.... a few... these are lower class women who go out and spend time with OLDER upper class men.
Half of the upper class men and women only associate with the lower class when they need something done for them, or if they need drugs.
Up until 2 months ago there was a man who used to sleep with young teenage girls ... but never got caught...now he lives in the next town over.
Very few men get charged with sexual assault or statutory rape in this town... mostly because they are drug addicts and the girls they are sleeping with are being turned into drug addicts, and if you are a drug addict then you have information on a drug DEALER.. so the police let you do whatever you want for information.
There was a woman who lived here that has had 4 marriages and has a low class income and a high class personality. I am not sure which way she is looked at in the class division, but everyone says she is a b****. She thought everyone around her owed her something and would PHYSICALLY wrinkle her nose at someone she thought wasn't as good as she was.... she now lives in the next town over.
The Sheriff here is a "good ole guy" I have never personally had any problems with him, and he has on occasion been cordial to me when i see him in public. His deputy though.... **giggle** for all intensive purposes we will just call him "no neck Shrek". He thinks this is "HIS" town, and tries to run over the town and the people here. No reason... just that he obviously has some sort of confidence problem or lacking in some "area" **cough cough**
We have a restaurant that has been around for years where everyone, high and low class, work together. Let me just say that the Owner of the restaurant is, and has for a while, been sleeping with his female staff (or that is the rumor anyway).
Over half of the people here are addicted to something. many have an alcohol problem, many others are addicted to prescription narcotics, and the rest are addicted to marijuana. Does anyone care? No... well... not until there is a fight or an argument and everyone spews everyone else's business to the entire town. THAT is when people start to care.
If you have not lived here for years, chances are when you move in, the UPPER class will sniff around and sense you out to see if you are worth being a part of their "image" ... and if that doesn't work out, even with only one person... SORRY... get lost.. you are then and forevermore a lower class citizen. BAM.. just like that.... **yes it is that easy**
When you move here and attempt to start a life, the UPPER class citizens can make it extremely hard for you to succeed in any of the goals you set in place for yourself, especially if they know someone related to you.. or know someone that doesn't like you.. etc etc etc....
Jobs are given based on what football team you like, who you associate with, what rumors have been going around about you, whether or not you live in an opposing high school football teams territory, ,whether you have mid cost name brand clothes on, where you get your hair done, how many times you have been divorced, how many kids you have, if you split a marriage because
of adultery... on either side, and you just so HAPPEN to be a woman.... good luck finding a job.
No... these questions aren't asked at the interview, but "insinuations" are made throughout the entire thing.
You come to this town and you think "this place is nice, i want to move here" and then very soon after realize that it was a nightmare waiting to take its turn in your life. This has been the situation for many MANY people that i have met that have been prospective new citizens who ended up "just passing through" after they stayed for only a few months.
No need in describing the two east and west adjoining towns, they are around the same size, and the exact same problems. The next town to the west of our town, employed a police officer who was asked to "step down" from his position because he was sleeping with the sheriff's married daughter. The old sheriff there was partnering with drug addicts. With a town as small as these are ... I can not for the life of me figure out WHY... they can not find the main source of the incoming drugs into their town. EVERYONE knows where to go to buy them... and the police don't know? HAHAHAHA what a joke.
Then, you have people like my husband and I. We have a middle class income, live in a middle class home, drive a middle class vehicle... and almost all "upper" class society deems us "lower" class. why? Let me explain the reasons that are of the present....
1. We are covered in tattoos
2. Our children are allowed to be children
3. I am a recovering addict, my husband, a recovering alcoholic. (for some reason the word "recovering" is a disgrace but an active addict is deemed acceptable as long as they aren't out in the open with it) **?????**
4. Even with a middle class income we can not afford for our children or our selves to be "decked" in the latest fashions.
5. We speak our mind
6. We are pro gay rights
7... AND THIS IS THE KICKER.... WE HAVE NO SECRETS
Almost everyone around here puts on a facade like they are better than everyone that crosses their path, which isn't true by any means. If given the chance, I or a hundred others could ruin ANYONE'S "reputation" with the good citizens of this small town.
Liars, adulterers, drug addicts, thieves, crooked police, child abusers, hookers, child molesters, and so many other types of people live behind the idea of being able to hide it from everyone. And they are right next to us, day in, day out.
Before you move to a small town, do your research. You think you are moving yourself toward a slower paced life style, and a more quiet environment, or a safer place to raise your children when in all actuality you are moving where all of these things are not only present, but even more concentrated. If the statistics on child molesters are 1:4... then you do the math.... with less population, how many predators are traipsing around in a small town?
If this blog has offended anyone, or if my english is not up to "par", or if you just simply don't like it... I DO NOT CARE... write your own blog.... write a post on Facebook.... hell... go tell everyone i'm going to hell, it might make you feel better. The thing is, if you are one of these types of people i mentioned... you have your secrets too, and sitting on a church pew on sunday doesn't make you any better than anyone else.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
My Children
my children:
my children may not be the most well behaved, they may not have the best sense of restraining themselves... i discipline my kids, but i do not hinder my kids in being who they truly are.
They are outspoken,
opinionated,
hyper,
comical,
serious,
dramatic,
inquisitive,
and on occasion,
they have been known to be uncontrollable.
.... BUT.. i let my children be who they are, and give them all the space in the world to develop their OWN personalities.
They are also wonderful,
caring,
sensitive,
loving,
compassionate,
sweet,
giving,
understanding,
fun loving,
outgoing,
and SUPER FANTASTIC.
I accept them for who they are unconditionally.. good bad and indifferent. My children are allowed to speak their opinion, and they are allowed to ask questions. They are not allowed to be outright rude or discourteous to ANYONE at any time. I teach my children manners and etiquette....
I teach them to understand both sides of a situation, but all four of them KNOW how to defend themselves if the situation calls for it.
I love my kids.... and they know it.. they trust me and know they can come to me with anything and we will discuss it... Motherhood is not something that we know when we have children, but something that we continue to learn every single day. We are never finished growing as parents. Don't blink or they will be grown...as mine are almost grown and i wonder where all that time went. Don't close your mind or your heart to who your children try to be, that will only make them resent you, it will only make them be who they are without telling you... and i think that is one of a mother's worst fears... is raising her kids and then realizing she doesn't know who they truly are. This post is dedicated to all my mommy friends... and to my children...... who are my everything and make every day worth waking up to... :)
my children may not be the most well behaved, they may not have the best sense of restraining themselves... i discipline my kids, but i do not hinder my kids in being who they truly are.
They are outspoken,
opinionated,
hyper,
comical,
serious,
dramatic,
inquisitive,
and on occasion,
they have been known to be uncontrollable.
.... BUT.. i let my children be who they are, and give them all the space in the world to develop their OWN personalities.
They are also wonderful,
caring,
sensitive,
loving,
compassionate,
sweet,
giving,
understanding,
fun loving,
outgoing,
and SUPER FANTASTIC.
I accept them for who they are unconditionally.. good bad and indifferent. My children are allowed to speak their opinion, and they are allowed to ask questions. They are not allowed to be outright rude or discourteous to ANYONE at any time. I teach my children manners and etiquette....
I teach them to understand both sides of a situation, but all four of them KNOW how to defend themselves if the situation calls for it.
I love my kids.... and they know it.. they trust me and know they can come to me with anything and we will discuss it... Motherhood is not something that we know when we have children, but something that we continue to learn every single day. We are never finished growing as parents. Don't blink or they will be grown...as mine are almost grown and i wonder where all that time went. Don't close your mind or your heart to who your children try to be, that will only make them resent you, it will only make them be who they are without telling you... and i think that is one of a mother's worst fears... is raising her kids and then realizing she doesn't know who they truly are. This post is dedicated to all my mommy friends... and to my children...... who are my everything and make every day worth waking up to... :)
My letter to my Biological father
This is a letter i wrote to my biological father, who lives only 45 minutes away from me and has only met me once. figured i would post this and try to get some circulation. oh... it has been 2 years since this letter was written.
*written to Thomas E. Geiger of Columbus, Ms**
Thom,
I am writing you this letter in hope that maybe you will respond via US Postal Service. I don't know what is going on, but I think it is very unfair of you to refuse me a chance to know if you are my father or not. I have been waiting for 13 years at the end of this month to know the truth. I want a blood test. You said before that you wanted it too, but you have made me wait over a month for a response, and I am wondering if I am ever going to get one.
I want you to know something, I am SICK and TIRED of being treated like a stray dog that just showed up outside someone's door step. My entire family treats me like that, and now you too. Let me tell you something Mr. Geiger, it is not MY fault that I was conceived or that I was born. It was not MY fault that my mother did what she did or made the choices that she did. It was not MY fault you and my mother could not make your relationship work. I did not ASK to be born, did I? So how is it that I am the only hone suffering from this whole mess?
You keep saying how you and your wife have suffered, and how people have treated you. How about the way you have treated me? You slept with my mother, got her pregnant, married her, and then just tossed me out like yesterday's garbage. To this day you treat me like I am some nuisance filled stray dog that keeps scratching at your door for some reason. I want answers and it is YOUR responsibility to give them to me.
If you would have tried to find me... you would have found me. I have been in Mississippi for over 10 years now, when have I heard anything from you? I have tried to contact you several times, and all I have heard back is "if you contact us again, we will press charges for harassment" You are the epitome of hypocrisy Thom. You preach about truth, and facts to all of the people on your forums, but you have no idea what that word means do you?
If you were so interested in "facts" or so interested in the truth, you would be getting the blood test wouldn't you? But no, you are afraid that I am going to cause problems with your wife. YOU won't even tell me if I have brothers and sisters somewhere I don't know about. I know I do. Why won't you at least grant me that? I want to know Thom. I guess my first impression of you was wrong... you are not a smart and reasonable person, because if you were, you would be trying to resolve this issue, or at least paying some attention to it.
I am so tired of being treated this way by someone I don't even know, but I will not stop until I have the answers that I am looking for. What are you afraid of? That you neglected a part of you for 25 years? That you acted like she didn't exist and you knew where she was the entire time? I already told you what I want... when you so blatantly told me supposedly that I can not get money from you because you put in the divorce papers I couldn't have any money unless there was a blood test performed.
My opinions on that are that I don't care who a man thinks he is or isn't.... if there is a possibility that he fathers a child, he should step up and take care of that responsibility. It takes two people to have a child, not just one. My mother definitely did not impregnate herself. You came looking for me when you were running for office for some reason last year.
You told the people you talked to that you knew I was your daughter, and I looked just like your sister. There really isn't any question in your mind about it but let me quote you from your last email "my conscience is clear" can not be true because if it is you are a heartless man. I have been an outcast my entire life because my "father" left me. I was never dales real daughter and no one saw it that way, my mother's family didn't accept me because they never accepted you.
Point being Thom, I want my chance. I DESERVE to know if you are my father or not!! I have tried and tried to get in contact with you and get this solved, but you keep dodging me. Especially after I told you that I was rh- antibody. You know that affects less than 15 percent of the population worldwide. So there is very little possibilities of someone that either of you knew being rh- as well that could have been my father. It would have been a freak occurrence. I am going to keep sending this letter, I am going to keep trying to get in contact with you until you get what you wanted... a blood test... I know now that you will never let me in your life, or in your heart, or share any kind of emotional attachment to me.
You make known publically your views on other races.... But all the things that you claim to be upheld in other communities...and trademarks of what you think they are like "dead beat dads" you need to go look in the mirror at yourself. I am tired of you and your holier than thou attitude, I am tired of you thinking that you decide when things happen like you are some kind of ruler over my life.
You slept with my mother, you married her... you are on my birth certificate... you have an obligation to me whether you like it or not. I am not some poor uneducated person you can persuade to believe anything that you want. You do have an obligation to me.... You owe me not only an explanation but the truth. My mother didn't make you stay away... my mother did not put a gun to your head and stay away from your daughter.... And even then most GOOD parents would have still pursued the issue...I guess that's just not something you will ever be is it?
I have four children and you have met and spent time with two of them.... When are you going to meet the other two? You can go and listen to my life from everyone I know, and not hear the truth from me? How is that right? Right now, I think that you came looking for me last year while you were running for office just because you wanted to keep drama down and you didn't want me to ruin things for you. Looks like I didn't have to do that, because from what people say, you do that on your own. You are no better than me, in fact I am a product of you. So in that sense, I am the best parts of you, at least that is how I see having children.
I will await your response....... You know how to get in contact with me!!
Kristina
I am writing you this letter in hope that maybe you will respond via US Postal Service. I don't know what is going on, but I think it is very unfair of you to refuse me a chance to know if you are my father or not. I have been waiting for 13 years at the end of this month to know the truth. I want a blood test. You said before that you wanted it too, but you have made me wait over a month for a response, and I am wondering if I am ever going to get one.
I want you to know something, I am SICK and TIRED of being treated like a stray dog that just showed up outside someone's door step. My entire family treats me like that, and now you too. Let me tell you something Mr. Geiger, it is not MY fault that I was conceived or that I was born. It was not MY fault that my mother did what she did or made the choices that she did. It was not MY fault you and my mother could not make your relationship work. I did not ASK to be born, did I? So how is it that I am the only hone suffering from this whole mess?
You keep saying how you and your wife have suffered, and how people have treated you. How about the way you have treated me? You slept with my mother, got her pregnant, married her, and then just tossed me out like yesterday's garbage. To this day you treat me like I am some nuisance filled stray dog that keeps scratching at your door for some reason. I want answers and it is YOUR responsibility to give them to me.
If you would have tried to find me... you would have found me. I have been in Mississippi for over 10 years now, when have I heard anything from you? I have tried to contact you several times, and all I have heard back is "if you contact us again, we will press charges for harassment" You are the epitome of hypocrisy Thom. You preach about truth, and facts to all of the people on your forums, but you have no idea what that word means do you?
If you were so interested in "facts" or so interested in the truth, you would be getting the blood test wouldn't you? But no, you are afraid that I am going to cause problems with your wife. YOU won't even tell me if I have brothers and sisters somewhere I don't know about. I know I do. Why won't you at least grant me that? I want to know Thom. I guess my first impression of you was wrong... you are not a smart and reasonable person, because if you were, you would be trying to resolve this issue, or at least paying some attention to it.
I am so tired of being treated this way by someone I don't even know, but I will not stop until I have the answers that I am looking for. What are you afraid of? That you neglected a part of you for 25 years? That you acted like she didn't exist and you knew where she was the entire time? I already told you what I want... when you so blatantly told me supposedly that I can not get money from you because you put in the divorce papers I couldn't have any money unless there was a blood test performed.
My opinions on that are that I don't care who a man thinks he is or isn't.... if there is a possibility that he fathers a child, he should step up and take care of that responsibility. It takes two people to have a child, not just one. My mother definitely did not impregnate herself. You came looking for me when you were running for office for some reason last year.
You told the people you talked to that you knew I was your daughter, and I looked just like your sister. There really isn't any question in your mind about it but let me quote you from your last email "my conscience is clear" can not be true because if it is you are a heartless man. I have been an outcast my entire life because my "father" left me. I was never dales real daughter and no one saw it that way, my mother's family didn't accept me because they never accepted you.
Point being Thom, I want my chance. I DESERVE to know if you are my father or not!! I have tried and tried to get in contact with you and get this solved, but you keep dodging me. Especially after I told you that I was rh- antibody. You know that affects less than 15 percent of the population worldwide. So there is very little possibilities of someone that either of you knew being rh- as well that could have been my father. It would have been a freak occurrence. I am going to keep sending this letter, I am going to keep trying to get in contact with you until you get what you wanted... a blood test... I know now that you will never let me in your life, or in your heart, or share any kind of emotional attachment to me.
You make known publically your views on other races.... But all the things that you claim to be upheld in other communities...and trademarks of what you think they are like "dead beat dads" you need to go look in the mirror at yourself. I am tired of you and your holier than thou attitude, I am tired of you thinking that you decide when things happen like you are some kind of ruler over my life.
You slept with my mother, you married her... you are on my birth certificate... you have an obligation to me whether you like it or not. I am not some poor uneducated person you can persuade to believe anything that you want. You do have an obligation to me.... You owe me not only an explanation but the truth. My mother didn't make you stay away... my mother did not put a gun to your head and stay away from your daughter.... And even then most GOOD parents would have still pursued the issue...I guess that's just not something you will ever be is it?
I have four children and you have met and spent time with two of them.... When are you going to meet the other two? You can go and listen to my life from everyone I know, and not hear the truth from me? How is that right? Right now, I think that you came looking for me last year while you were running for office just because you wanted to keep drama down and you didn't want me to ruin things for you. Looks like I didn't have to do that, because from what people say, you do that on your own. You are no better than me, in fact I am a product of you. So in that sense, I am the best parts of you, at least that is how I see having children.
I will await your response....... You know how to get in contact with me!!
Kristina
Friday, June 19, 2009
What is Your Definition of a Hero?
Hero is a word commonly used when speaking of a person who holds fame, fortune, or as someone who has accomplished a great feat. To me, the word hero can be defined as someone who is admired or looked up to by someone else. Every person that you meet or cross paths with in your life has the potential to be a hero, and more than likely, they probably already are. Parents, siblings, victims of tragedy, and people who fight every day of their lives to preserve the wellness of their life are all examples of people who are looked up to by others.
A child learns everything he knows in his younger years of life from his parents. Every choice that a child makes, action he decides to take, and every word that comes from his mouth starts out as a lesson that he learned from his parents. Raising a child, to some, seems like an almost impossible task in itself; which would satisfy the common description of a hero being someone who accomplishes a great feat. A child looks up to his parents for advice, and in a child's mind, one or both of his parents is a hero.
Like a parent, an older sibling could be considered a hero in the way that their little sister or brother looks up to her for advice, guidance, and support. Younger siblings almost always follow in the footsteps of the older brother or sister. Younger siblings usually want to be just like their older brother or sister. Older children teach their younger siblings how to handle real life situations,even if it is not intentional. The younger siblings are taught how to play games, how to interact with people socially, how to handle school situations, and many other life lessons by their older brother or sister.
An everyday person who goes through tough situations and still strives to come out on top can be a hero because they are doing something that many people are unable to do themselves. A single mother or father struggling to make ends meet and still manages to show his or her children how to love and to be compassionate is accomplishing a miraculous feat. Imagine working every day of your life to give your family what they need, no matter how much time it took away from your personal life, or how much stress it caused. Would you still be able to come home with a smile on your face and teach your children to have happiness and love in their hearts, or would you teach them not to have any will to do the things they dream of doing because it did not happen for you?
A full time student working at the same time, and still managing to keep his or her grades up is more than likely looked up to by students who are not able to do the same. They manage to arrive at his or her classes on time every day, complete their homework, leave school, go to work, study for tests, and manage to pass the class and not miss any days from work. To some students who are struggling to keep his or her grades up, the thought of having a job while attending school might seem impossible.
A victim of rape, theft, mugging, or any other violent crime, who is leading a happy and successful life, is considered a hero in many individuals' minds. The fact that he or she can go through each day thinking of what happened the them, reliving each moment of the incident, and still make it through the day and into the night with a smile on his or her face, and determination in their heart seems impossible to nearly everyone you may talk to. These people do not let the situation that occurred drag them down; they keep pushing because they know that life goes on and that they can still be a happy person even though something bad happened to them. These people do not let what happened to them define who they are, instead, he or she strives to be known not as a victim, but as a survivor, and in my mind, as well as many others, that takes an enormous amount of courage.
A person who was brought up in poverty and brings him or herself out of the darkness and into leading a successful and productive life may be looked at as a hero or role model to others who do not think that they can accomplish such a goal. Someone who's family could barely afford to put food on the table, clothes on their back, food in his or her stomach, or could not even afford to buy supplies for them to attend school is a product of poverty. Most of the people who live in poverty end up losing his or her will to survive, or their drive to lead an accomplished life. The person who does not give up, and who keeps fighting to make their life something better than what they have always known can be counted as a survivor. To come out of poverty and strive for something better in life takes a great deal of strength, will, ambition, and courage. To have all of those things is an example of someone who is extremely heroic.
Many people think of our soldiers in Iraq as heroes. I do not dispute the fact that it takes a person having a great amount of courage to fight for his country with his life, but have you ever heard the soldiers' families being referred to as heroes? A wife or husband of a soldier who is overseas fighting for their country is living without his or her life partner. They get up in the morning alone, go through the day by themselves, and they lay down in a half empty bed at the end of the night, with no one there to hold them or to share the story of his or her day with. The children of the soldiers fighting for their country have to go to school every day and listen to other kids talk about how he or she played a game with their parents the night before. That is a luxury that these children do not have, and that most of all the other children take for granted. One of the parents of these innocent little boys and girls is not present for weeks, months, and in most cases, even years. The soldier's entire family has to go through every day wondering if, at any moment, he or she will get that dreaded phone call or that frightening visit that will inform the relative that his or her loved one will not be coming home. there is a great deal of courage, strength, faith, devotion, hope, and love that go along with being the family member of a person who is willing to risk his or her life for their country. I do not know if I could make it every day alone, knowing that a person that I love may not return home, or that I may never see their face again, and for this reason, I personally admire the families of these soldiers.
In my opinion, every person that I meet, and every person that I cross paths with is a hero in his or her own way. there are obstacles in every person's life that he or she has had to overcome. Obviously, if you pass a person on the street, no matter what his or her clothes look like, what they smell like, talk like, or act like, they have not given up; they are still alive. Every person that has the strength to open his or her eyes in the morning, and wakes up to face the trials of that day, no matter how difficult, has the strength to survive, and anyone who has the strength to survive is admired or looked up to by someone who does not have that same will to keep going; that same person that you read about in the obituary of the morning paper who just decided that the hand of cards that he or she was given ended up being too hard to play, so they folded.
Contrary to popular belief, it does not take money or power to be thought of as a hero. to have heroic traits, you do not have to climb the tallest mountain, slay the most ferocious of beasts, or defeat the most evil of all villains. All it takes to be a hero is to posses strength, and not necessarily meaning physical strength. If you are reading this, then obviously you had the will power to get out of bed this morning, and keeping that in mind, there is probably someone out there who admires something that you have done or are presently doing; which in turn would qualify you as being a hero. So the next time you think about the meaning of the word hero, try to think about every person that you have ever met. In most cases, if you sit down and think about it, almost all of those people that have come into your life has someone who looks up to or admires something that he or she has done; making each an every one of those people a hero.
Hope you liked it!! let me know!!!
kristi
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Gang Violence In America
I bet you would be surprised to hear that the word "gang" has been used since 1200 A.D. This tells us that gangs in the United States did not just "pop" up in the last 20 or 30 years. They have always been here, in the background of America. In the past 2 or 3 decades, gang violence has grown drastically, mostly, in my opinion, due to the fact that Americas have taken a serious lack of responsibility.
To explain what I mean more clearly, did you know that people IN the neighborhoods have more right to what goes on there than county or city officials? The thing is, that you have to STAND UP and say something. In most cases, especially in areas where there is heavy gang violence, members of that neighborhood all agree that the problem has to be stopped. I think America has gotten too used to the word "can't" instead of using the word "try". People sit there and say things like " I can't do this, it won't work." or "Do you have any idea how long that will take?" There are so many excuses that people come up with to avoid doing any real work or making any real effort to change a given situation.
People have power in numbers. That is the statement of the century right there. Everyone in America, including everyday citizens are so caught up with the war going on overseas that they have stopped caring what goes on right here at home.
According to www.urbanministry.org's "fasten" Gang statistics in 2009 states that:
Now more than ever, our communities need to be have a helping hand. I don't know why the government is not seeing that our communities are in trouble, instead of spending all of our focus and energy overseas, but one thing is for sure, this is going to be left up to us. If we all just sit in our houses and do nothing, guess what is going to happen? Nothing, but if we will just get up off our lazy behinds and say something, or do something to make a difference, we may change something after all. For years, most of us have sat around and watched this country turn to crap. For me, I watched my parents just sit by and watch the pride of America burning to the ground. So now, I am doing what I can to reach out to as many people as I can to get them to listen.
People move out of cities that have an increased amount of gang violence, as they should to stay as safe as possible, but the next step is to do something to change the city they moved from. It is our responsibility as citizens of the United States to follow up and do things that the government can't or won't do.
There are town meetings, city council meetings, etc., that members of the community can go to and voice their opinions, and, whether or not people want to believe it, if you stand up in large numbers, a community can get just about anything it wants.
The way the U.S. is going right now, there is going to be an increased number in job loss, homelessness, drug use & selling, violence, and due to the stress of everything, gang violence will increase. Most gangs will see that their community is weak, and they will attack in hopes that they will get whatever outcome is pleasing to them. From the false "promises" that gangs make, they will be able recruit more soldiers to carry out their wishes. This does not only include our children. Do you think that a middle age man (or woman) who has lost everything and has no one would pass up an opportunity to have a "family" to have people "backing them up" or to have more money? If you think that most people would turn down an offer like that, even from a gang, when times are so very tough, you are wrong.
The only way to prevent our family, neighbors, co-workers, children and community members from falling into such a large "crack" in the system, is to be their family. To reach out a hand to someone whether it be emotionally, physically, or financially when this country seems as if it is falling to pieces, might just save their life, as well as your own.
Too many people die from gang violence every day. Too many innocent people get recruited to carry out horrible, unimaginable crimes on a day to day basis. Why are the PEOPLE of America not standing up and doing something about it? Why are we just sitting around waiting for the government to do something that we could very well do ourselves.
We have all seen that our "Government" has a one track mind and is completely incompetent and incapable of taking care of issues here in America, like i said before, especially when they are so focused on things going on somewhere else. So again I will repeat myself IT IS UP TO US, THE AMERICAN PEOPLE TO CHANGE THE COUNTRY WE LIVE IN.
If you do not believe we can do that, if you do not believe that it is possible for the citizens to do things that most would expect a government to do, or you would just rather sit back and do nothing, because you don't FEEL like changing things, DON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT IT. If you are going to do nothing about the problems you feel are a threat to every day life in America, then you lose your right to say anything about it. Bringing a problem to other's attention is stating that you want the issue resolved, or made better.
I don't care about "bloods" or "crips" or "SCR" or the "VL's". I don't care about red or blue, black or white, or whatever stupid color may be the next big thing. all i care about is living in a country that is comfortable to be in. Living in a country that has citizens that are proud of what their Nation is. I hope all of you are too.
I, for one, wish that our children were fed, warm and comfortable. I also wish our families were safe to walk out on the streets at night or any other time, without having to worry about being mugged kidnapped or shot. I'm going to do my part to change things. One voice is not very loud when standing alone, but many voices put together is loud enough to be heard by even the most powerful of individuals.
**As always, I meant no offense to anyone or their opinions on the subject at hand. I respect every one's opinion individually. I hope you will be kind enough to leave feedback or questions/comments so that i can make any future pieces better, or so that i can further my knowledge on this particular subject. Thanks!~Kristi
***Topic suggested by Debra B. (La.)
To explain what I mean more clearly, did you know that people IN the neighborhoods have more right to what goes on there than county or city officials? The thing is, that you have to STAND UP and say something. In most cases, especially in areas where there is heavy gang violence, members of that neighborhood all agree that the problem has to be stopped. I think America has gotten too used to the word "can't" instead of using the word "try". People sit there and say things like " I can't do this, it won't work." or "Do you have any idea how long that will take?" There are so many excuses that people come up with to avoid doing any real work or making any real effort to change a given situation.
People have power in numbers. That is the statement of the century right there. Everyone in America, including everyday citizens are so caught up with the war going on overseas that they have stopped caring what goes on right here at home.
According to www.urbanministry.org's "fasten" Gang statistics in 2009 states that:
- 100% of cities that had a population of 250,000 reported gang activity in 2001.
- 44% of cities with a population of 25,000 to 49,999 reported gang activity in 2001.
Now more than ever, our communities need to be have a helping hand. I don't know why the government is not seeing that our communities are in trouble, instead of spending all of our focus and energy overseas, but one thing is for sure, this is going to be left up to us. If we all just sit in our houses and do nothing, guess what is going to happen? Nothing, but if we will just get up off our lazy behinds and say something, or do something to make a difference, we may change something after all. For years, most of us have sat around and watched this country turn to crap. For me, I watched my parents just sit by and watch the pride of America burning to the ground. So now, I am doing what I can to reach out to as many people as I can to get them to listen.
People move out of cities that have an increased amount of gang violence, as they should to stay as safe as possible, but the next step is to do something to change the city they moved from. It is our responsibility as citizens of the United States to follow up and do things that the government can't or won't do.
There are town meetings, city council meetings, etc., that members of the community can go to and voice their opinions, and, whether or not people want to believe it, if you stand up in large numbers, a community can get just about anything it wants.
The way the U.S. is going right now, there is going to be an increased number in job loss, homelessness, drug use & selling, violence, and due to the stress of everything, gang violence will increase. Most gangs will see that their community is weak, and they will attack in hopes that they will get whatever outcome is pleasing to them. From the false "promises" that gangs make, they will be able recruit more soldiers to carry out their wishes. This does not only include our children. Do you think that a middle age man (or woman) who has lost everything and has no one would pass up an opportunity to have a "family" to have people "backing them up" or to have more money? If you think that most people would turn down an offer like that, even from a gang, when times are so very tough, you are wrong.
The only way to prevent our family, neighbors, co-workers, children and community members from falling into such a large "crack" in the system, is to be their family. To reach out a hand to someone whether it be emotionally, physically, or financially when this country seems as if it is falling to pieces, might just save their life, as well as your own.
Too many people die from gang violence every day. Too many innocent people get recruited to carry out horrible, unimaginable crimes on a day to day basis. Why are the PEOPLE of America not standing up and doing something about it? Why are we just sitting around waiting for the government to do something that we could very well do ourselves.
We have all seen that our "Government" has a one track mind and is completely incompetent and incapable of taking care of issues here in America, like i said before, especially when they are so focused on things going on somewhere else. So again I will repeat myself IT IS UP TO US, THE AMERICAN PEOPLE TO CHANGE THE COUNTRY WE LIVE IN.
If you do not believe we can do that, if you do not believe that it is possible for the citizens to do things that most would expect a government to do, or you would just rather sit back and do nothing, because you don't FEEL like changing things, DON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT IT. If you are going to do nothing about the problems you feel are a threat to every day life in America, then you lose your right to say anything about it. Bringing a problem to other's attention is stating that you want the issue resolved, or made better.
I don't care about "bloods" or "crips" or "SCR" or the "VL's". I don't care about red or blue, black or white, or whatever stupid color may be the next big thing. all i care about is living in a country that is comfortable to be in. Living in a country that has citizens that are proud of what their Nation is. I hope all of you are too.
I, for one, wish that our children were fed, warm and comfortable. I also wish our families were safe to walk out on the streets at night or any other time, without having to worry about being mugged kidnapped or shot. I'm going to do my part to change things. One voice is not very loud when standing alone, but many voices put together is loud enough to be heard by even the most powerful of individuals.
**As always, I meant no offense to anyone or their opinions on the subject at hand. I respect every one's opinion individually. I hope you will be kind enough to leave feedback or questions/comments so that i can make any future pieces better, or so that i can further my knowledge on this particular subject. Thanks!~Kristi
***Topic suggested by Debra B. (La.)
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Parenting: The Pro's and Con's of Physical and Non Physical Punishment
**Reader attention: Before you get started with this piece, note that I do not include any opinions or facts on corporal punishment in the school system. If you would like to see a piece written on the subject just post a comment and I will make sure that I write something per reader request! Thanks! ~Kristi
"To Spank or Not to Spank" is the question that many parents find themselves facing when it comes to disciplining their children. As parents, we all have to come to a decision on what type of "parenting style" we will adopt. There are many different views and opinions on the matter of whether or not to physically punish children. Many feel as if there are other routes that can be taken to teach them the difference between right and wrong.
Many psychologists believe that corporal punishment causes many negative consequences later in life; consequences that effect almost every aspect of a person's life from relationships with others to their relationship with themselves. On the flip side, there are many people out there that were "spanked" as children that believe they have turned out just fine, with no emotional problems, and who will also acclaim to the fact that spanking was the best choice method in punishment for them, as it is for their own children.
Spanking is legal in all of the United States, but according to an article found on Geocities (http://www.geocities.com/spankwithlove3/statistics.html) there are 8 states, all of which are in Europe, that do not allow parental spanking.
I think that there are many pros and cons to both physical and non-physical punishment. First, lets look at the pro's of physical punishment. Some parents believe that spanking a child lets them know that there are immediate consequences to their actions. When a child is too young to understand an explanation of why their action was wrong, some feel as if this is the only way to get their point across. Physical punishment also takes less time, when a child does something that is not pleasing to a parent, it does not take as long to show them that what they did was wrong.
The cons of physical punishment are that they may have lower self esteem as they grow older. At times, some parents use spanking as a way to "vent" their own frustrations on their child, or they don't want to take the time to use other methods, or try explaining to them that what they did was wrong. Kids of parents that spank sometimes also grow to think that hitting someone is the only way to deal with an issue, which causes more issues at the school level.
My personal opinions on the subject really all revolve around consistency. As long as a parent doesn't go overboard, and attempts other forms of punishment before hand, spanking a child is an acceptable last resort. Something that parents thta spank their children need to realize is that if they are not consistant with the way, and what times they punish their children, he or she will end up with a child that does not know what is right and what is wrong. If they only get in trouble for an action "once in a while" or they sometimes get punished firmly and sometimes they get let of easy for the same action, then they will keep doing the same thing over and over, in hopes that they will eventually get to a point where they get no punishment in that area at all.
I also do not think that parents realize how out of hand they can get with spanking. I am a firm believer in the fact that when you spank a child, you should NEVER be angry, because whether or not you have a temper problem, it is far to easy when a parent is frustrated, to not realize how hard they are spanking their child. I think that if a parent is mad or upset at something their child did, then they should take a break, maybe put the child in time out, and take a deep breath. If, after they have removed themselves from the present situation for a few minutes, they still feel the need to spank, then it would be more suitable.
Spanking can go from punishment to abuse faster than any of us could imagine, and usually the effects of even some of the harshest abuse can not be seen until later in adult life, and sometimes, no one gets to see it, but rest assured, it is there.
Whether or not a person decides to spank their child or not, is their own decision, but it is a decision that needs to be thought about, and not taken lightly. Children should see their parents as loving protectors, and someone to confide in and trust. If a child is constantly getting hit, with no other alternative, then they learn to be afraid of their parents. They learn that they can not trust or confide in their parents for fear that they will only be hit. So they start hiding things, and lying, which leads to even bigger problems. Some of which can not be reversed.
Also, as our children grow, and become teenagers a "spanking" is not going to be sufficient in showing them what they did was wrong. Let's face it, a teenager is a little to big to be popped on the bottom or the hand. So if you want your teenagers to listen to what you have to say then you have to start talking to them when they are children.
All in all, with a lot of balance, self control, consistancy, and understanding, spanking isn't a horrible form of punishment. It isn't the act in itself that makes the punishment unliked, it is the person using the method, and the choices that person makes.
We all love our children, and we want what is best for them, no matter what the cost right? So slow down take a deep breath and put yourself in their position before acting rashly.
I also don't think that spanking should be a form of punishment passed a certain age. I want to hear your opinions... if you opt to use corporal punishment at home, at what age do you think a child is too old to be spanked?
Also if you are against corporal punishment in the home, i would like to hear your opinions on that too, and maybe some other options to discipline in the home that parents could consider such as grounding, time-outs, taking things away from them, etc.
Remember, i am on both sides of the line, i agree that spanking can at times be an adequate form of punishment, but in a last resort scenario, but as always, please remember that i respect your opinion on any subject that i post, and i mean no harm by any of the content in my pieces.
**This subject was suggested by Carmen T. (Az.)
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Marriage and Sex in My Text
Okay, so we all know the controversies surrounding marriage these days. Gay marriage, right or wrong? Should it be legal or not? Are homosexual relationships right tor wrong? Is it okay for teens to have sex before marriage? Well I can't give you answers on all of these things, all i can do is give my opinion and hope it makes a difference out there somewhere. Before i get started, i want to say this, if you are reading this and do not agree with my thoughts, they are just that, my thoughts. It doesn't make me a bad person, and i shouldn't be judged for having an opinion different from yours...i willingly respect every ones opinions on these matters..to each their own..
Okay, first off... the question is gay marriage right or wrong? Honestly i do not feel that it is our choice to decide whether this is right or wrong. To tell them that it is wrong or unholy or to make false assumptions about people who lead this kind of lifestyle and think bad thoughts about them is committing a sin in itself. Matthew 7:1 states clearly that we are not to judge anyone, under any circumstances at all, or we will be judged at the same extent. Think about that next time you think ill thoughts toward someone who leads a homosexual lifestyle. I am not homosexual, but i respect their rights, and love is love no matter how you look at it. i know plenty of people who have known they were attracted to the same sex long before teenage years. So its not the school system that does this to children. At least not for the most part anyway. I don't think it is up to any of us to decide whether or not it is okay for two adult individuals of sound mind to marry each other or not. No matter what any one's opinions are, their opinions are not going to change, no matter how much people complain, or shove heterosexuality in their face. Everyday Americans try to tell gay community that the straight life is the only way to live to be accepted, so i don't think it is right to say they are shoving it in any one's face, they just want to be able to live their lives normally,and not have to live only in "the privacy of their own home" Its a two way street.
Now, onto the topic of whether it should be legal or not. The Lord is all accepting, he does not desert us, nor forsake us. He waits patiently for us to come to him. The only unforgivable sin is one in which you don't have a chance to ask for forgiveness, because we have a loving and forgiving God. For example, we can not ask forgiveness for suicide. That is my opinion... taking your own life is murder, but if you succeed, you do not have a chance to ask for forgiveness for the sin you have committed. So in which case, who is it hurting if gay and lesbian couples get married? You know, this is what i think about.. some couples that are together for years and have absolutely no one but each other in life; no family anyway. So what happens if they get put in a coma? or something very very drastic medically happens? We all know that our wishes when it comes to our incapability of making decisions, lie solely on our spouse or significant other, which means that if you are not married to the person in question, you have no say so what so ever in what happens to them. If they have no family, oh well. the doctor gets to make the call. I personally think that is just wrong. It does no physical harm to any of us for two men or two women to get married. none at all. So why is it such a big deal to everyone? I'm sure we all do things in our lives that someone doesn't approve of, and that someone we are around would rather not have to deal with, but we expect them to. Why? Because that is our right? As a human being, we all have the right to make our own choices, and to those of you who do not agree with this subject, okay. that is your opinion. Go on living your life, and don't' worry about what any one else does. How hard is that? why are you fighting so hard to keep it from happening? is it because you wont have control if it does?? news flash: you expect people to accept you for who you are, why can't you do it for others? Are you better than God? Because whether you like it or not, My God, who is also Our God, is all accepting. To those of you who paint a picture of Him that is in anyway different than an all accepting God, think about this, that may be the reason why so many people are straying away from getting to know him.
Okay onto the third subject on whether it is right or wrong to have sex before marriage. There are only a couple of reasons why i think sex before marriage is wrong. The first is that no matter who you are or how old you are, if you have sex before marriage, then when you finally do get married, there will be that bit of tension between the two of you because you have had past sexual relationships. So, to avoid the torment that is human nature to put on yourself and someone Else's mind, waiting until marriage is a good idea.
The bible also mentions something about premarital sex being wrong, but i think this is mainly geared at women the way it was put in the bible. Also the experience of one's first time will be with them forever and 9 times out of 10, if the experience is before marriage, it ends up being a regret. Also, there is nothing saying that sex before marriage necessarily has to be when someone is a teen. Many people wait until their twenties to have sex and are still unmarried.
The schools today teaching sex ed and teaching about protective sex is a good idea, but i agree with most, that it is a parent's job to talk about things like that with their children, not school officials. The subject of protection, in my opinion is something that needs to be heavily discussed with growing teens by parents, and is a subject that should not be avoided. In many instances though, parents are too scared to talk to their kids, or too stubborn, in which case children never get to know about what is the safest decision for them if they end up having sex. I'm not approving of pre-marital sex by any means, but telling a child "NO BECAUSE I SAID SO" or " ITS EVIL AND YOU WILL GO TO HELL" will ONLY make a child want to do that specific thing even more. Most parents don't understand that boundaries without explanation, do not go over well with teenagers. If they don't understand why you don't want them to do it, then they are going to do it anyway, thinking you are just a parent, what could you know? Having an open and honest relationship with your children is the best thing you could do for their well being. If they trust you enough to talk to you about different subjects, then they will trust you enough to listen to your good advice.
BTW for all of you out there that think that STD's are only contracted through sex, you are wrong..almost all std's can be contracted through things other than sex. Blood transference is likely, and for some diseases such as herpes, chlamydia, and crabs can all be contracted by using public restrooms. And for all of you women out there, sharing a razor with someone who has herpes (whether you know it or not) or wearing their clothes (such as pants, if unwashed) or using the same bath cloth can also transfer the disease. Std's are not solely sexually transmitted which should also be something that is explained to children, to further their knowledge in protecting themselves.
As a mother, as far as I'm concerned about gay rights, I support them. If one of my children made a choice (or realized who they are) and led a same sex lifestyle, there is no way that i could feel ill feelings toward my own son or daughter. i would be accepting of the decision that they made. we can't make our children's decisions for them, and if we could that would make them us, not them. i want my children to be individuals and think for themselves, and to trust me enough to talk to me and let me know things that are going on in their life. I don't want my kids to grow up hating or looking down on people who are different than them...because all that will do is make them hate the world, and everyone in it, and life is too short to be that unhappy. So to all of you out there reading this, I am happy to be a part of this world and i am proud that we are all unique and we are all different.
I meant this blog to be in no way disrespectful to anyone or their opinions. i respect whatever you may think, please show me the same courtesy.
Okay, first off... the question is gay marriage right or wrong? Honestly i do not feel that it is our choice to decide whether this is right or wrong. To tell them that it is wrong or unholy or to make false assumptions about people who lead this kind of lifestyle and think bad thoughts about them is committing a sin in itself. Matthew 7:1 states clearly that we are not to judge anyone, under any circumstances at all, or we will be judged at the same extent. Think about that next time you think ill thoughts toward someone who leads a homosexual lifestyle. I am not homosexual, but i respect their rights, and love is love no matter how you look at it. i know plenty of people who have known they were attracted to the same sex long before teenage years. So its not the school system that does this to children. At least not for the most part anyway. I don't think it is up to any of us to decide whether or not it is okay for two adult individuals of sound mind to marry each other or not. No matter what any one's opinions are, their opinions are not going to change, no matter how much people complain, or shove heterosexuality in their face. Everyday Americans try to tell gay community that the straight life is the only way to live to be accepted, so i don't think it is right to say they are shoving it in any one's face, they just want to be able to live their lives normally,and not have to live only in "the privacy of their own home" Its a two way street.
Now, onto the topic of whether it should be legal or not. The Lord is all accepting, he does not desert us, nor forsake us. He waits patiently for us to come to him. The only unforgivable sin is one in which you don't have a chance to ask for forgiveness, because we have a loving and forgiving God. For example, we can not ask forgiveness for suicide. That is my opinion... taking your own life is murder, but if you succeed, you do not have a chance to ask for forgiveness for the sin you have committed. So in which case, who is it hurting if gay and lesbian couples get married? You know, this is what i think about.. some couples that are together for years and have absolutely no one but each other in life; no family anyway. So what happens if they get put in a coma? or something very very drastic medically happens? We all know that our wishes when it comes to our incapability of making decisions, lie solely on our spouse or significant other, which means that if you are not married to the person in question, you have no say so what so ever in what happens to them. If they have no family, oh well. the doctor gets to make the call. I personally think that is just wrong. It does no physical harm to any of us for two men or two women to get married. none at all. So why is it such a big deal to everyone? I'm sure we all do things in our lives that someone doesn't approve of, and that someone we are around would rather not have to deal with, but we expect them to. Why? Because that is our right? As a human being, we all have the right to make our own choices, and to those of you who do not agree with this subject, okay. that is your opinion. Go on living your life, and don't' worry about what any one else does. How hard is that? why are you fighting so hard to keep it from happening? is it because you wont have control if it does?? news flash: you expect people to accept you for who you are, why can't you do it for others? Are you better than God? Because whether you like it or not, My God, who is also Our God, is all accepting. To those of you who paint a picture of Him that is in anyway different than an all accepting God, think about this, that may be the reason why so many people are straying away from getting to know him.
Okay onto the third subject on whether it is right or wrong to have sex before marriage. There are only a couple of reasons why i think sex before marriage is wrong. The first is that no matter who you are or how old you are, if you have sex before marriage, then when you finally do get married, there will be that bit of tension between the two of you because you have had past sexual relationships. So, to avoid the torment that is human nature to put on yourself and someone Else's mind, waiting until marriage is a good idea.
The bible also mentions something about premarital sex being wrong, but i think this is mainly geared at women the way it was put in the bible. Also the experience of one's first time will be with them forever and 9 times out of 10, if the experience is before marriage, it ends up being a regret. Also, there is nothing saying that sex before marriage necessarily has to be when someone is a teen. Many people wait until their twenties to have sex and are still unmarried.
The schools today teaching sex ed and teaching about protective sex is a good idea, but i agree with most, that it is a parent's job to talk about things like that with their children, not school officials. The subject of protection, in my opinion is something that needs to be heavily discussed with growing teens by parents, and is a subject that should not be avoided. In many instances though, parents are too scared to talk to their kids, or too stubborn, in which case children never get to know about what is the safest decision for them if they end up having sex. I'm not approving of pre-marital sex by any means, but telling a child "NO BECAUSE I SAID SO" or " ITS EVIL AND YOU WILL GO TO HELL" will ONLY make a child want to do that specific thing even more. Most parents don't understand that boundaries without explanation, do not go over well with teenagers. If they don't understand why you don't want them to do it, then they are going to do it anyway, thinking you are just a parent, what could you know? Having an open and honest relationship with your children is the best thing you could do for their well being. If they trust you enough to talk to you about different subjects, then they will trust you enough to listen to your good advice.
BTW for all of you out there that think that STD's are only contracted through sex, you are wrong..almost all std's can be contracted through things other than sex. Blood transference is likely, and for some diseases such as herpes, chlamydia, and crabs can all be contracted by using public restrooms. And for all of you women out there, sharing a razor with someone who has herpes (whether you know it or not) or wearing their clothes (such as pants, if unwashed) or using the same bath cloth can also transfer the disease. Std's are not solely sexually transmitted which should also be something that is explained to children, to further their knowledge in protecting themselves.
As a mother, as far as I'm concerned about gay rights, I support them. If one of my children made a choice (or realized who they are) and led a same sex lifestyle, there is no way that i could feel ill feelings toward my own son or daughter. i would be accepting of the decision that they made. we can't make our children's decisions for them, and if we could that would make them us, not them. i want my children to be individuals and think for themselves, and to trust me enough to talk to me and let me know things that are going on in their life. I don't want my kids to grow up hating or looking down on people who are different than them...because all that will do is make them hate the world, and everyone in it, and life is too short to be that unhappy. So to all of you out there reading this, I am happy to be a part of this world and i am proud that we are all unique and we are all different.
I meant this blog to be in no way disrespectful to anyone or their opinions. i respect whatever you may think, please show me the same courtesy.
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